tbradshaw.net

Well it appears that I’ve picked up a friend in the online poker industry. And by friend I mean someone that mercilessly spammed the shit out of my blogs with anonymous comments pimping his/her wares. So lame.

For now I guess I’m just going to turn off anonymous commenting. It has been kind of cool in the past now and then, and I thought it was a great convienance for friends of mine that would like to post a comment but don’t want to go through the trouble of making a user account on this site. But after I spend thirty minutes to an hour slaying all of these comments, I think it will be less trouble to just require user accounts.

So lame.

Yeah… so one of my goals is to start eating out less. So yesterday I started, bound and determined, to only eat groceries and not go out to eat. I didn’t have a lot of groceries, so I ended up eating Bush’s Spicy Baked beans with a few chips, some Egg Nog, then later some pasta with speghetti sauce.

Whatever it was… it was wrong. Today I’ve been wracked with body aches and nausea. I can’t go 30 minutes without some quality time in the bathroom, and I’ve had more “verps” than I can count.

So, I guess the goal gets modified a bit from “eat out less” to “eat better”. At least with fast food I was getting well rounded meals, although a little on the unhealthy side. Eating at home I was just throwing together whatever crap I happened to have around. Not a good solution. I guess a trip to the grocery store is going to be in order.

I went ahead and officially declared my semester complete yesterday, when I had discovered the grades for my last couple classes. It’s been a very bittersweet semester, full of highs and extreme lows. I’d like to say that the semester ended on a “high note”, but it didn’t really. It just kind of ended.

My grades finished even more poorly than I had expected, which is stunning really considering how little I was expecting. Chances are that I’ve lost the financial aid for next semester, although I’ll probably try and meet with the financial aid officer in charge of Satisfactory Academic Progress, just to see if there’s anything that I can do.

However, I guess as far as the college experience goes, this semester has been pretty fruitful. There is no denying that I’ve learned a lot. As John Powell said, “The only real mistake we make is the one from which we learn nothing.” I’ve learned a lot about time management, but more about project management than anything. Someone only has to visit The Bunker to realize that we’ve accomplished an aweful lot around here. And I think it’s fair to say that the lionshare of the accomplishment has been from my own effort.

But on the same token, I can say a lot about the priorities that lead to the completion of so much and still the failure of so much. Most of the amazing accomplishments this semester were more of the side-project variety than any kind of “main event”. But somehow those side projects ended up center stage while grades and work suffered a bit. Looking back it’s easy for me to see why. The side projects were about teamwork, cooperation, and effected many people. The main projects, school courses and work, are just about me. My money and time. It’s clear to me now that it’s almost impossible for me to prioritize the “me” projects ahead of the “friends” projects. I don’t know that I’m upset about that, but I’ve certainly learned a good lesson. Take on fewer projects. Or, at the very least, take on fewer projects that involved other people.

There have been other projects, like my Jeep and stuff, that have been put on hold almost indefinitely, and I don’t feel the least bit guilty about it. I also have some software that I want to write, both for myself and for QuakeCon, and I don’t feel too pressured about that stuff either. Those are the kinds of projects that I want to do more of. Projects that I can just say, “Whelp, gotta do homework instead. You get put on hold indefinitely” and not have to worry about it.

School, work, and The Bunker were the vast majority of the projects that I undertood this semester that more or less lead to my demise. I also ended up with a crush on a girl over the course of the semester. I ended up spending quite a bit of time on that, at the expense of other projects. The strange thing there, is that I don’t regret it a bit. I would have gladly given tons more of my time and energy if she had wanted it. Of course, there’s the key. Now i’ve come to realize that she doesn’t want it (or me). While that realization is kind of saddening, at least it’s simple. And when I’ve had such a different semester as this one… I could use a healthy does of simple. (Not that I wouldn’t take that particular flavor of complicated over anything else life has to offer at the moment, but that decision was made for me… no reason to contemplate it now.)

So when I look back over the semester, I’m almost confused. I feel drained, beaten down, and weary. However, when I actually think of the semester, I can’t help but think about the good parts. I’ve met or gotten to know several new friends that I would consider some of my best. I’ve bonded with my roommates, we threw some amazing parties. I’ve made several positive professional relationships at work. In fact, I would say interpersonally, things have gotten better all around with one notable exception, I didn’t see my family nearly enough this semester. Though, I know exactly why. I hate going home feeling like a failure, and for the last month or so, that’s exactly the way that I’ve felt.

I doubt I’ll really know what this semester means to me as a person for a while, there are just too many loose ends. However, it’s definitely time to start looking forward at ways to make the next semester better.

That’s where this holiday break comes in. We are almost done with most, if not all, of the projects around here at The Bunker. I want them done before classes start. D-O-N-E. I need to stop spending money and time on these projects, and the best way to make sure that happens is to freaking finish them. This should free up a significant amount of time for the entire semester, because this semester I probably spent 5-20 hours a week on these Bunker projects.

Now I think I’m going to set some goals for myself next semester. Almost like a new years resolution list, only it’s a post-tramatic semester resolution list.

• Good Grades - I’ve never felt so humiliated as I do with my current semester’s GPA. There is no excuse for this level of incompetence. I want to prove to myself that I’m still capable of jumping through the hoops necessary to get good grades.
• No Time Critical Bunker Projects - We’ve still got some projects that we’d like to do. But none of them that I am responsible for will be time-tabled. They will be “as time allows” and I’ll work on them only when I feel like it. I’ve done more than enough this semester.
• Eat Out Less - I eat out constantly. I want to get into the habit of buying groceries and making food.
• Take It Easier/Be Healthy - This semester I just did too much. Adding up all of the hours from classes, work, The Bunker, and socializing, I was going non-stop except for a few hours of sleep a night. I ended up unhealthy and depressed. Only after giving up on some classes did the load lighten enough that I stopped getting sick, but only a little. The load is just going to have to stay lighter this semester, so that I can stay healthy. No more 90 hour work weeks.

I’m sitting in Nichols 122 by myself, soaking in the moment where everything is completed. The ACM LAN party was a great success, and I’m happy that I had the opportunity to help make it happen. All in all, it felt like a very well done amateur LAN party. And I mean amateur in a very literal way.

This LAN party was plagued with “the usual” problems associated with small ad hoc LAN parties: flipped breakers, curcuit “guessing”, file transfer infrastructure… er… really the lack of, daisy chained power strips, etc. However, just like the reputation of “small” lan parties, it was really a good time for everyone that was here. And no one seemed that upset about the infrastructure glitches in the early parts of the night. In a way, power outages are an excuse to socialize, right?

It just wouldn’t be a decent blog if I didn’t compare this experience to working QuakeCon, but the comparison wouldn’t be fair. This experience was more like a flash back to the ad hoc LAN parties that I used to hold in my Dad’s garage back in high school, with a little extra size.

In fact, that was really the kicker in this case. I really expected a small LAN party turn out. Originally quite skeptical, I thought that 15 or 20 people, tops, is the kind of LAN party that would be expected. We ended up with 37 people here with their computers set up and gaming it hard core. Almost double my largest estimate and again trouncing my preconcieved notion that CS and IS majors don’t have any interest in socializing. It’s not that CS and IS majors don’t have any interest in socializing, it’s that there just isn’t enough geek activities to aggregate us into one setting. (Side note: Next semester there will be a CS/IS pub crawl… oh yes, there will be a CS/IS pub crawl. I’ll make sure if it.)

I had a damn good time at the LAN party proper as well. Besides managing the event, it was more than self-sufficient enough for me to play an assload of Quake 3: Arena (thanks in large part to Roland, Matt and Dusty). And you heard me right, Quake 3: Arena. I thought for sure that everyone would be playing Half Life 2 and I would be watching dust fall down on the desk, waiting for the night to be over. But no, we had every single one of us cranking it up in Quake 3: Arena CTF, and I loved it. I was pleased to be playing pretty well, and I just love, love, LOVE trash talking while playing Quake. It’s like a second nature.

I’m almost worried that some of these guys may have first heard me in a gaming setting, where you can’t let modesty get in the way of a good slam.

My favorite, by far, was tonight when I whipped out the whambulance. I had been railing across the divide in q3ctf2 for quite some time, when someone shouted out in jest that they hated me and my crazy rail gun skillz. So I really let it rip with, “Oh, do you want me to maybe put the rail gun down for a second so that I can call you the WWHHAAAAAAMBULANCE?” What I thought was just an innocent comment was not going to just go unnoticed. No, the entire LAN party instantly fell into an uproar with “OOooooooohs” and “Ohs!” The slam was nearly flawless, and I was summarily slaughtered by every red player the next possible second. Eh, what are you gonna do? ahahhaha.

But more important than my smart ass remarks was the opportunity to hang out with other geeks from the department. Being at a LAN party where a good number of the attendees were running linux and talking trash with me was just a phenominal time.

And I’ve got some fan mail already from the LAN, so it had to have gone pretty well!

Anyway, it’s coming up on 24 hours since last time I’ve felt the soft embrace of my bed, and I can’t wait.

The Bunker Relay for Life team is growing, with current membership at:

• Travis Bradshaw
• Mo Mersmann
• Aaron Price
• Erin Kidd
• Nanette Jones
• Lindsay Hicks

Also, these people are interested, but wanting to know a little bit more about the event before confirming:

• Christi Teson
• Dave Plumb

If I’m missing anyone that I text messaged the other day that wanted to be on the team, or just anyone else that I’m missing, be sure to give me a ring, or an email, or a message on thefacebook, and I’ll get things fixed up!

Since I’ve had a number of friends that just have no idea about this Relay for Life business, I’m definitely going to have a blog here soon to just describe the event and drum up some interest.

Viva la hope!

The idea of having a semester-end LAN party for the ACM group that Dr. Andresen is getting “revitalized” has finally reached reality. The posters advertising the LAN party have went up today, and I spammed the undergraduate and graduate mailing lists today with more info about the LAN party.

The response so far has been really great, and I’m starting to geniunely look forward to getting my game on in Nichols Friday night. Should be a blast. (And if you’re reading this and you game, you should be there too.)

Yesterday, right after bleeding a little for the ARC Blood Mobile, Dr. Wallentine held the first meeting for the cis690 Game Programming course that is set to begin next semester. It was more of a “kindling” meeting, to get some ideas into the students’ heads so that they would be able to think about the class before we dove in starting the next semester.

I’ve been quite nervous about the prospect of contributing as an instructor to a 600 level course, being an underachieving undergraduate, but Dr. Wallentine has been very supportive and after our first meeting I feel much more confident about my ability to make a solid contribution to the class.

Also, the group of students involved in the course appears to be great. There are a number of “non-gamers” in the course that are interested in other things, like AI and/or medical software, but I really think that is going to be more of a strength than a weakness. Happily there were a number of gamers that are in the course. It was kind of fun to hear of other gamers that had kind of stopped gaming so much recently due to time constraints. I was starting to wonder if I was the only gamer in that boat. Clearly not.

We tossed around some general ideas about the course and I did a quick little ad-hoc presentation over the Quake 3: Arena SDK that we will be using for the framework of whatever project we end up doing.

I feel really positive that this is going to be a great experience for the students and for me. I might even be able to enroll in the class myself and get credit for it. That would turn this class into my absolute ideal leadership position, one where I get to lead by example as a peer.

For quite some time I had been wondering when the Relay for Life organization would get moving on campus, and much to my pleasant surprise the Relay for Life volunteers had a table in the Union while I was heading to lunch with Matt, Sterling, and Cole.

So I happily picked up a Team Captain packet and The Bunker Relay for Life team was born. I’m still looking for team members, it would be great to have a full team of 15 to raise money for the cause. It’s $10 per participant and each participant is encouraged to raise at least $100 each (not counting luminaries).

I’ll also start hitting up friends and co-workers for cash/checks for the team. So get ready!

A while back in Hays, Lauren’s brother Tom introduced me to the new Cake album, Pressure Chief, while we were heading to eat some chinese at the mall. He described it as “good”, but a little different from the usual Cake, more “techno-y”.

At the time I thought it was a musical aside, something fun to check out on the ride back home to Manhattan. I had no idea it was going to lead me on a musical odyssey to discover a band I had not previously fully appreciated.

To begin, Pressure Chief is a great album. Every track offers something, from the catchy melodies of “Wheels” and “Palm of Your Hand“, to the playful travels of “Dime” and “Carbon Monoxide” to the pleasing cover of Bread’s “The Guitar Man“, right to the resonating truths of “Tougher Than It Is” and “No Phone“. I certainly have enjoyed this album from front to back many times, and it will get many more spins from my mp3 player and in my Jeep.

The unexpected part of Cake was the joy that came from going back over their entire discography. After enjoying Pressure Chief, I soon picked up Motorcade of Generosity, Fashion Nugget, Prolonging the Magic, and Comfort Eagle. If there is one thing that can be said of Cake, is that they are consistent. After enjoying Pressure Chief time and time again, soon every single Cake album in the discography found its way into my playlist for a three and one half hour cycle of great music that I’ve let repeat for days on end.

While I could really rave about almost every single song (very few of the songs fall short in any way), it would really take more space and time than is really necessary. I’ll just hit some of my high points with the discography.

First, it was great to go back and visit some of the big hit favorites that I hadn’t heard for quite some time. “I Will Survive“, “The Distance“, “Sheep Go To Heaven“, and “Short Skirt/Long Jacket” stand the test of time as really great songs that outlived their time on the top 100.

Next, I was absolutely stunned at the number of tracts that I really found myself relating to. Sometimes it’s just a great feeling to find one of those songs that really just feels like it was written as a soundtrack to your own life. Cake has managed to catch exactly the words for feelings that while universal, seem quite targeted and personal. Of course, part of this is just because it’s easy to project yourself on the clear messages and gentle movement of a Cake song, but sometimes it’s more than that.

The first track to really hit me was “Perhaps” from Fashion Nugget, after which I discovered “Satan Is My Motor” and “Let Me Go” from Prolonging The Magic, and rounded it out with “Love You Madly” from Comfort Eagle. I could put those songs on repeat, sing, and daydream all day. Even without the luxury of daydreaming all day, they have most certainly layed the ground work for many karaoke concerts in the rain for my showers.

Finally, I rounded out my personal soundtrack by adding several great songs to the previous four songs. I found myself absolutely hooked on “Commissioning A Symphony In C” from Comfort Eagle, “When You Sleep” from Prolonging the Magic, and finally “Italian Leather Sofa” and “Stickshifts And Safetybelts” from Fashion Nugget.

Not that I’m still not listening to the entire Cake collection, because I am. But these tracks I’ve spotlighted are just something special. When they come across in the playlist it’s like when your favorite song is on the radio: a real treat.

If it’s not blaringly obvious from this point in my little review, I think you should listen to Cake. I’d recommend that you purchase their albums, but I can’t, so instead you should join me at the next Cake concert and we’ll buy an overpriced t-shirt and contribute to the band.

So there you have it. The current soundtrack to my life: Cake, from first album to most recent. All kick ass.

I just got back from playing racquetball at the rec, and damn is that a good time. I’ve decided that really what racquetball is about, is giving good face. After watching Dave, Llama, Brandon and I play racquetball, you’d know exactly what I mean. All of the shrieks of terror, gasps, smiles, and cackles that a guy makes when diving for a hit, falling down, missing a ball completely, getting drilled with a serve, or even just trying to catch the ball with his free hand… priceless. Absolutely priceless.

Add to that the occational break into gregorian chants, strange harmonics, and me laughing like a freaking hyena, and it just turns into a great time, every time.

Oh how trendy The Bunker is. That’s right, if you’re one of the thousands of K-Staters that is a facebook regular (or irregular) and you’re reading this, you should probably join up. All the cool kids are doing it.

(While I’m being tongue-in-check about the peer pressure type slogans, this is definitely one of the hottest university “fads” in the country right now… so everyone really is doing it, for better or worse.)

So, due to the recent prodding of Dave, I hopped on the band wagon to try out thefacebook.com. The idea is relatively simple, while the results aren’t. It’s also huge, almost a million users since February 2004. (Thousands here at K-State, alone.)

This is another one of those social networking sites. It’s kind of like an orkut, but with more dating service-ish features. There’s nothing too revolutionary about the technology, users register expansive profiles where every single word/phrase is a search term against other profiles. Then a combination of link types are used to connect students with each other.

This is where the service really starts to shine, because they have picked pretty much the ideal social “block” for the service, a university. Entrance to thefacebook is determined by registering a university email address, which in turn joins you to a moderately gated community that encompasses your entire university. I’ve been playing with it for quite a while, and I have to say that I’m enjoying myself quite a bit.

If you decide to give it a shot, be sure to give me a “poke”.